February 26

The Rabbi + The Wolf Bird A “Roll The Bones” story about a divided America and Heated Rivalry.

By Chris Nelson

In late January on a flight home from the embroiled city of Minneapolis, I sat next to a rabbi, and throughout the plane ride she and I discussed two of the most significant cultural movements in America: the nationwide protests against the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and television’s sweet-and-steamy queer hockey drama, Heated Rivalry.

The rabbi started our conversation by asking if I had traveled to Minneapolis to take part in the protests that drew tens of thousands of Americans out into the subzero winter cold to march through the streets of Mill City to call for the withdrawal of 3,000 federal law enforcement officers and the end of their violent occupation of the city. Timidly I told her that I was in town for work, not the protests, but the rabbi didn’t say a word. Instead she smiled softly and simply patted me assuredly on the shoulder, and then I asked her the same question.

The rabbi said she had flown almost 1,100 kilometers from Colorado to Minnesota to join hundreds of fellow clergy from various faiths to stand in solidarity against ICE and President Donald Trump, condemn the abduction and harassment of families, demand accountability for the unjustified murder of innocents, and fearlessly support a day of public witness and political action.

That morning, the rabbi and hundreds more people of the cloth staged a peaceful protest at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, imploring the airlines to end their contracts with the federal government to transport ICE detainees.

The protest started with songs and prayers, but then local police showed up and told the group that they were past capacity for what the permit allowed. Police commanded the religious leaders to clear the road that they were kneeling in, and when the faithful refused, local officers arrested more than 100 clergy members for misdemeanour trespassing and failure to comply with a peace officer; eventually all were released.

The rabbi was not arrested, and unintimidated she and the remaining clergy marched on the Target corporate headquarters in downtown Minneapolis to participate in a “singing protest” against the store chain. Target has been supportive of ICE operations that are staged out of store parking lots, so ministers, rabbis, and the like stood in the rotunda foyer of the corporate headquarters and sang: “We can stay here all day, we shall not be moved. We are shopping elsewhere, we shall not be moved.”

As the rabbi talked, I listened, and as she finished her thoughts, I came up with new questions and topics to keep the conversation going about tyranny and evil men, the power of prayer and faith, or the degradation of humanity throughout American history.

When we started to discuss homosexuality and her fear for the queer of America, I lost all semblance of sense and poise, and asked bluntly if she had watched Heated Rivalry, the hit Canadian television show based on a romance novel series about rival hot-shot male hockey players who secretly kiss, clap cheeks, and cuddle.

The rabbi told me she had not yet watched Heated Rivalry, but knew about the show’s incredible popularity surge, with tens of millions of Americans gleefully distracting themselves from the horrors of everyday life by watching the graphic, sweaty romance between lead protagonists Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. I explained to her how during my trip to Minnesota, my fiancee started watching the series and turned feral for the big-bootied boys and their delightful banter, and it was required that I watch the series with her immediately upon arrival home from the airport.

As the rabbi talked, I listened, and as she finished her thoughts, I came up with new questions and topics to keep the conversation going about tyranny and evil men, the power of prayer and faith, or the degradation of humanity throughout American history.

When we started to discuss homosexuality and her fear for the queer of America, I lost all semblance of sense and poise, and asked bluntly if she had watched Heated Rivalry, the hit Canadian television show based on a romance novel series about rival hot-shot male hockey players who secretly kiss, clap cheeks, and cuddle.

The rabbi told me she had not yet watched Heated Rivalry, but knew about the show’s incredible popularity surge, with tens of millions of Americans gleefully distracting themselves from the horrors of everyday life by watching the graphic, sweaty romance between lead protagonists Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. I explained to her how during my trip to Minnesota, my fiancee started watching the series and turned feral for the big-bootied boys and their delightful banter, and it was required that I watch the series with her immediately upon arrival home from the airport.

When our flight landed in Denver, the rabbi and I said our goodbyes, and that night I watched two hot hockey dudes fall in love at “the cottage.” During the more lurid moments, I couldn’t help but wonder if the rabbi was watching the big-butt boys, too, with a glass of red wine in hand as she warmed her cold bones by a crackling fire.

In one scene of the final episode of Heated Rivalry, Ilya Rozanov is hilariously terrified by the loud wail of “stupid Canadian wolf bird,” also known as a loon, which is the state bird of Minnesota and has become an increasingly popular symbol of rebellion and protest in America. At first I laughed as I watched the scene, but soon I remembered all of the injustices of our reality, so I quietly bowed my head in faithless prayer and thanked the rabbi and everyone else who showed up in Minneapolis.